(3 min read)
After reading yet another online post about someone claiming to be Christian yet spouting nothing but hatred and judgment towards those who live differently than them, I realized I had to take a break. I pushed my seat back and took in my surroundings: the brick walls, the smell of pastries, the bustle of people walking around that small coffee shop. At that moment, I asked the age-old question, “What would Jesus do?”
Jesus was known as a “Friend of Sinners” not an “Enemy of Sinners.” Jesus ate meals with individuals in that culture who were diametrically opposed to what he believed. Jesus did not change his message or his beliefs, yet he embraced something that I believe Christians today have forgotten -- the Art of Friendship.
Let's look to scripture to learn more about this lost art, then we'll get practical with some modern day applications.
Friendship in the Bible:
In the beginning, God existed. Practical theology states that God has always existed in three distinct persons (1) the Father, (2) the Son and (3) the Holy Spirit. The complexity of the Trinity is beyond the scope of this article (and possibly any article for that matter), but here’s something worth observing: that existence as we know it began through companionship.
In the late 1200s, a theologian named Meister Eckhart suggested “Humanity was created through the laughter of the trinity.” When Ekhart says, “laughter” what he means is the shared enjoyment of companionship, the fact that Christianity worships a God that celebrates friendship.
Jesus demonstrates this relational nature of God throughout his entire ministry, but in John 17 we get an inside look at a conversation between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, “That all of them may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I am in You. May they also be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. I have given them the glory You gave Me, so that they may be one as We are one.”
Christianity worships the God of relationships; therefore, friendship is not just a practical need, but divine worship.
Practical Friendship Today:
But, what happens if we don’t have much in common with someone, or don’t see things the same way as they do? I believe that if we serve a relational God, then the act of building relationships is true worship, regardless of whether that person becomes our “new bestie.”
Christ demonstrates this art to us throughout the Gospel, but a few qualities to point out are:
(1) Intentional Openness.
In John 4, Jesus casually strikes up a conversation with a woman while waiting at the well. When his disciples return, they acted as any genuine New Englander would and thought to themselves, “What do you want,” or “Why are you talking to her?” (John 4:27). Jesus was simply open to human interaction even when others were not.
As an introvert with his fair share of anxiety, I admit this can be hard to practice, but what would it look like to take our headphones out while working, or to strike up casual conversation with a stranger?
(2) Unthreatening Curiosity.
I sat down to get to know someone, who as it turns out, was a master at the art of friendship. This person was a warm presence, laughing often and asking plenty of questions. I Immediately sensed that they were simply interested in getting to know me; no hidden agenda or ulterior motives. Christ lived his life as someone who was unthreateningly curious, interested in truly knowing others simply for the sake of knowing them.
(3) Unwavering Companionship.
If we seek to master the art of friendship, then we need to embrace our roles as companions, rather than heroes. God may call you to speak a word of encouragement into someone’s life, but only after we have earned that right. In his book Sacred Companions, David Benner said, “(friendship) is the gift of not doing – not interrupting, not attempting to solve problems, not prematurely or inappropriately advising, not assuming.” Christ has always been a friend to those who walk through the ups and downs of life, and I believe this is something that we need to embrace.
In the end, we are called to practice the art of friendship because our God pioneered it. At every stage of the Bible, God has been seeking a relationship with us. The question is… how would our world be different if Christians followed those words?
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